Daily Joke for Jul 31, 2010

An Amazonian Whipping

Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your Amazonian whipping?"

The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.

The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?"

"I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.

"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American.

He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."

Daily Joke for Jul 30, 2010

World's Best Baseball Hitter

A little boy put on his baseball uniform and went outside to play, chanting "I'm the best baseball hitter in the world!" He throws the ball in the air, swings and misses. Strike one!

He adjusts his hat and says, "I'm the best baseball hitter in the world!"

He throws the ball in the air, swings and misses. Strike two!

He adjusts his hat a little more, takes a couple of practice swings and says, "I'm the best baseball hitter in the world!"

Once more, he throws the ball in the air, swings and misses again. Strike three!

He thinks for a few moments about what just took place, then says, "I'm the best pitcher in the world!"